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And so it starts…

Today I gave notice. I thanked my boss for her support and the opportunities she has given me. Today I quit my job…. so that I can design full-time.

I am, simultaneously, giddy and bubbling over with excitement and absolutely terrified. I have taken the safe route so many times in my life. I chose the college where I could live at home and get half tuition instead of applying to schools across the country. I have chosen jobs I knew I could do, but would be bored with because they were comfortable. To take such a leap seems a little out of character for me, but when it comes down to it, I need to be happy. As I discussed in my New Years post, I need to do something creative every day. I’ve spent long enough in Corporate America, in a succession of soul crushing jobs that I can truly cherish what it means to be blissfully happy with what I do for a living. And I think I finally can believe that I deserve that happiness.

January 30th is my last day. And I’ll still be working at Blazing Needles because it’s fun and the employee discount is great. I am so excited to finally have the time to get the projects done. I’ve been meaning to do a total rewrite of all of my patterns, including rewriting the charts and making them uniform and more understandable. I’m excited to have the time to do that, and also to take on a lot more designing endeavors than I have been able to do in the past. It might be that I’ll have some tight months, but even if I have to wait tables or get a menial part-time job to help pay the bills, the prospect of doing something I love every day is a very strong motivator.

As I jump feet first into this, I am grateful for you all, for your support and for helping me feel like this community could buoy me up in times of sadness, and I am very grateful to my wonderful C. Encouraging, loving, believing in the best parts of me, and so supportive that I couldn’t ask for more.

Here we go….

M

Posted 09 January 2009 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (66) °

Good News!

My Aunt’s cancer appears to be contained to one area that is easily removed. She’s got surgery scheduled for next week and then will probably have some chemo or radiation afterward to be sure, but this is considerably better than the options if the cancer had spread.

In fact, I’ll be heading to San Diego in a week for TNNA and will be able to visit with her while I’m there.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. For all your good wishes, prayers, and concern. I know they made a difference.

Thank you.
M

Posted 09 January 2009 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (11) °

Shivaya Naturals Interview

Hey all, I’m doing a design for Shivaya Naturals‘ 2009 Yarn Club, so Heather interviewed me for their blog. If you’re interested, the interview is here. Also, the yarn club is up for subscriptions, just click the “buy now” button in the sidebar of that link.

Posted 03 January 2009 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (2) °

New Year, New Plans

I could really just throw last year’s 3 goals up again and tell myself “Stick with those, they worked for you” but I like to take the new year as a time to assess how far I have come, and what my plan for the future is. Not so much resolutions as assessment of where I am on my path.

My 3 goals from last year were:

1. Balance in all things. Strive not to let yourself go too far toward any end of the spectrum.
2. Get rid of all the shit. Emotional and physical. Cull what you do not need and use what you have to fullest advantage.
3. Exercise. For your health, for your sanity, for your body. Even though you think of this “resolution” every year, just make it a goal to be healthier in general. You can do that. Make choices every day to be healthier.

I have been better at #1, but could still use more working toward that end. I am a rockstar on #2. The things I bring into my house and my life have been all about sorting and organizing and decluttering instead of the acquisition of shit. Rampant consumerism has taken a back seat and I am very proud of myself on this point. And it turns out that all I needed for #3 was the motivation of keeping off insulin. I have a hard enough time with the lancets and finger sticking to test my blood glucose, I can’t imagine being insulin dependent with my squeamishness toward needles.

I’ve been thinking a lot over the last 6 months or so about how to be happy. I have struggled with depression and negative thoughts most of my life, and I spent a lot of time just trying to figure out what things actually make me lastingly happy. The root of the consumerism was that I would buy things that stimulated creative thoughts. Books, cooking stuff, craft supplies, etc… And after some thought I realized that it was the promise of creativity that made me happy. That creating something stimulates the right chemicals in my brain that let me push out the bad and the dismal. It breaks up the monotony of daily life that gets me down.

As I realized last year, three is not too many, so in light of all that, my goals for the new year:

1. Keep working toward balance in all things.
2. Be creative every single day. Write, draw, design, print, cook, sew, knit. Do what makes you happy.
3. Be kind to yourself. I have a tendency to judge myself too harshly and it’s a load of wasted energy.

Three is not too many. I can do three. Happy New Year all!

M

p.s. Happy Birthday Cara!

Posted 01 January 2009 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (19) °

I Need Your Thoughts and Prayers

My Aunt has been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. At this time we don’t know how far it has reached, she has a diagnostic test next month, but if you could all send your prayers, good thoughts, best wishes or whatnot, I would appreciate it.

M

Posted 31 December 2008 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (20) °

Clearing Cobwebs

Re-entry to the workforce yesterday was brutal, and then I woke up this morning at about 3:30 am thinking (in my obsessive way so that I could not get back to sleep) about how the only thing I could think of in the grocery store that has no marketing campaign is ammonia. Ammonia: distilled from animal waste. Really. What could you say? But it struck me how much cheaper the lack of marketing would make Ammonia compared to say… Kaboom that has it’s own frickin infomercial. It’s been quite a while since I purchased ammonia though, since I have a cat.

Anyway, here is something pretty to look at! I occasionally buy myself some flowers from the wholesale florist. There are a few more pictures in flickr (just click through the photo).

I’m trying to dig myself out of the figurative pile of crap that I’ve let stack up around me. I’m getting myself all registered (late) for TNNA in January, and I’m systematically going through my inbox to clear things out, so if you were expecting to hear from me, and haven’t, send me a heads up and I’ll make sure to get to it sooner rather than later. My desktop and house and brain are a mess, but a little time spent taking care of things, instead of sticking my fingers in my ears and going “lalalallalalalalalalalalallalala!!!! Can’t hear you!!! NOT LISTENING” should do me good.

More Knitting!
C’s Cabled Hat


Summary: The photo is a bit washed out (it was backlit and I overlightened it in photoshop), but the Shibui Sock in Ink was delightful to knit with. It only took 1 skein and it sort of just materialized under my hands, which is good since C was freezing his patootie off without a hat!

M

Posted 30 December 2008 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (2) °

Happy Holidays

A bit behind, but I’ve been enjoying my time off work and celebrating by doing almost nothing 🙂

The Borg Fan Collective and Stargate Atlantis: Season 2 have been good standbys for some much needed vegging, but I did manage to drag myself into something other than pajamas and to the post office to mail my belated Christmas gifts to family. it’s been snowing on and off all week, with some seriously heavy stuff on Christmas Day. It made a really good excuse to not go out and do anything.

Today we did make it out to see a movie. We saw Valkyrie, which was awesome! They managed to keep it very suspenseful despite the audience knowing that they didn’t succeed in their plot to kill Adolf Hitler. The movie was moving and thought provoking, and totally worth leaving the house for 🙂

M

Posted 27 December 2008 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (9) °

More FO's

I’ll post more of the FO’s as I get them photographed and out of the queue. Again with the ravelry links and the laziness 😉

Clown Barf socks


Summary: These were the socks that C basically dared me to make for him, and I have to say he has stuck to his word. When I finished them he wore them for 3 straight days until I had to peel them off so I could wash them. I got a little punchy near the end and considered poking out my own eyeballs with double points rather than having to keep knitting brightly colored rainbow socks, but I stuck with it and he loves them.

War on Christmas Clogs 2008


Summary: I decided rather than the 50 pairs of socks for nieces and nephews that have been requested over the last year, I’d make them all clogs, they could be passed down to the younger kids and over the years I would only have to make new ones for the older kids as they got older until I decided I was done making clogs…. but 8 pairs of children’s felted clogs takes a long time. It felt like a battle most of the time like I’d finish one more pair and be like “VICTORY!!! I whooped that clog’s ass! hahaha!” I saved them all to felt together, which was a whole lot of fun. And the teeniest pair is just so friggin adorable that everyone I show it too starts giggling uncontrollably. On the other hand, there was the sewing on of all the little leather soles *headdesk*

OK, that leaves only Imogen, the lacey mitts (both pairs), Manon, which I started, finished the peplum of and now have to rip out and start again *sigh*, and a scarf which is a gift for someone who reads this, so I can’t show that until it has been gifted. Plus I started a hat for C yesterday. Black. But I chose some Shibui Sock in Ink so it’s not quite so tedious.

I have the day off work, so I will be cleaning my house, getting C’s last Christmas present, and screenprinting a present for a family member (all my presents are getting mailed late this year. Deal.) We’re having Christmas at home for the first time ever, and I’m cooking Christmas lunch tomorrow and probably something tonight.

M

Posted 24 December 2008 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (8) °

Shifting Priorities

Apparently, when I am stressed and busy, the blog is the first thing to go. I didn’t intend to be away for so long, but my entries would have been akin to this:

“I am busy, and feel uncreative. I have more angst than a pimply teenager. Please excuse the whiney content. Blah blah blah… Worry, Bitch, Moan”.

Rather than have negative content, I opted out of blogging. The lack of bread was making me cranky (since I felt like I hadn’t made any progress despite removing some of my favorite things from my diet), and frankly, my job has been stressing me out since the initial 6 month honeymoon period was over.

On the Pancreas Front:
I have been cutting portion sizes, and have removed most bread, pasta, and sweets from my diet. I will occasionally allow myself one of those 3 per day, not every day, and in a much smaller portion than I want. I have been exercising sporadically, and I have been making the choice to walk or take the stairs instead of sitting around. Or if I really REALLY want a treat, I just make myself exercise to make up for it. As a result, my morning blood glucose levels have been below 110 about 90% of the time, and my A1C is down within completely normal levels. And the 5 pounds I was supposed to lose by my December doctor appointment (20 for the whole year and 5 per quarterly appointment) ended up being 6, so I feel like I’m on track and that my choices are having an impact.

On the Knitting Front:
I have been knitting all through the blog break I took (I knit every day or else I’d probably go crazy), and I am finally getting around to taking pictures of the stuff I have finished. Here are some, with links to the full details on ravelry.

Kusha Kusha Scarf


Summary: It was a boring pain in the ass until I switched to Addi Lace Needles and then it was heaven sent for my work-fried brain.

Another Noro Kureyon Striped Scarf


Summary: Pure love from beginning to end, this is a gift for a family member and I hope that he loves it as much as I do. If not, I’ll steal it back. The colorways are 213 and 195. More pictures on Flickr.

Porom


Summary: I was making it just for the fact that I had the yarn and it looked like a quick knit, but when I finished it, I realized it would be a good gift for a family member, so it has been wrapped and is awaiting shipping. Blocking was sort of difficult.

Chocolate Hourglass Sweater


Summary: It took me forever to photograph it, and I’ve worn it about 4 times now. it’s comfy and lovely, and the green facings just give me so much glee! More pictures on Flickr.

On the Family Front:
Nathaniel joined my sister Laura’s family on November 24. He’s very tasty and very squeaky, exactly as babies should be. His furrowed eyebrows crack me up 🙂

A ton more pics on Flickr as I was his official first photographer.

On the Designing Front:

I have a new design for lacey fingerless mitts that just needs some sizing, test knitting and photography, so hopefully I’ll have that one out soon. They’re really lovely and are worked in a couple of different lengths as well as the sizes that I am working on.

I’ve also got a great idea that’s kicking around in my head. I’m very excited about it, but I am going to explore some other publishing options for this pattern so it might be a while before you see it.

M

Posted 23 December 2008 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (10) °

The Slog

I feel like I’ve fallen off the face of the planet! I’ve had a couple of e-mails checking in with me, so I figured I ought to say something. I am alive, but really just off. You know what I mean? My life consists of going to work, high stress while I work, going home, managing the fallout from the stress at work by knitting in front of a movie, then going to bed. On Saturday I try to catch up with the stuff I’ve neglected like laundry, cleaning, loving on my cat. And then on Sunday I go to my second job at Blazing Needles, which is a great yarn store and a really fun place to be.

I have been knitting, and have a lot of things finished to show you, but that requires the time and focus to take, process and upload photos, which I seem to be lacking. Andromeda was actually ready to go 3 weeks ago, but I just hadn’t taken the pictures of the new colorway, so I couldn’t post it up. How ridiculous is that?!

I have a plan to make things better beginning in the new year, so I hope it’s just a matter of waiting it out. The lack of sunshine doesn’t really help me either. And the weather seems like it’s got the same “off” problems I have. Why is it the beginning of December and there is no snow on the ground?! And I can get away with just a light jacket most mornings. That is downright strange.

Anyhow, the gist of this is I am alive, and I’m not doing too horribly all things considered, just slogging. My pancreas is putting up a good fight, but I seem to be making headway. I don’t think I’ve actually lost any weight, but my clothes fit differently, so that’s something. My morning sugars are lower too. But I guess we’ll know for sure when I get another A1c on the 15th.

M

Posted 02 December 2008 † Mim § Knitting ‡ Comments (15) °